whycantistopeating...

For as long as I can remember, ever since I was a little girl, one of my aims has always been to be thin... So now at 25, still wanting it so bad, I ask myself this:  WHY CAN'T I STOP EATING? 

You see with me, it's either all or nothing - I'm either on this crazy healthy diet, you know one of those ones when you're on such a roll with your healthy, no carb, rabbit food eating that when you see someone else chowing down on something like a potato cake or a bit of chocolate you subtly scrunch your nose up in disgust and think to yourself "my gosh that has so many calories, I can't believe they're eating that, I am so fine with my tuna" (note:  this is usually always a girl (guys don't count)).. OR I'm the other way, where I eat everything in sight with no thought whatsoever as to how many calories I'm consuming as I'm devouring every amazing mouthful and when I see people eating "just a salad" think to myself "look a salad is all well and good but it's just no way to live, you need to have some carbs! gosh!" Am I the only one that thinks like this slash carries on this way? I can answer that myself actually...

Take tonight for example, a girlfriend and I had dinner and as we're chowing down on our roti bread, rice and curries (emphasis added) we spend most of our time complaining about how bad we need to lose weight! The funny part is though, it wasn't until half way through the night I recalled the conversation we'd had just yesterday about how we are both fine the way we are and how we need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to be so skinny...

So I think to myself - are all of us out there, that are battling the same weight "problems", just as crazy as each other? Looking in the mirror and only being able to see our problem areas and telling ourselves "this diet starts as of now" and 5 mins later devouring something delicious.. Are we seriously all just messed up? Do we have no will power? Or do we really not actually care that much?

I don't know what it is but right now, sitting here typing this, fully aware of how heavy my Thai filled tummy feels.. I could still go a little dessert xO

[Image note - I always use to believe in this quote, but now I'm not so sure.. Some food really is THAT good..]